fool heart
The night my heart drowned the moon hunched over
like the night I was born, with Lilith in Virgo.
Black Moon Lilith says behind closed doors I’m a telepathic lover
Black Moon Lilith says I should like sex degrading but hygienic
I can be quite sensual, but my shame is karmic duty.
Rita Hayworth has strong Lilith in her chart; like Kim Kardashian and Niki Minaj
My chart says I got a fool heart
A fat fool heart for glamorising suffering
and absorbing torments like a sponge while pursuing solitary occupations
research. investigations. archives. inquiries.
It doesn’t take much to drown a fool fool heart
Attractive round hips and full thick thighs a taste for the arts and a submissive side
So many enviable gifts!
Trying to take the lead in love.
Trying to aspire to high ideals in love.
Trying to counter-pose the weight of my fool heart in water
he palmed me an amulet, a mother-pearl gobbetti
hump-backed like the waning gibbous when the sky split brocade rain.
I am very superstitious with my big dark mysterious emotions
with my treadle and my black wool my needles blunt and made of glass
I’ll knit a casket for my fool fool heart and fill it with too much medicine.
I don’t know where I get these brilliant ideas from they come from nowhere.
Fertile imagination. Flexible mind. Allergic to inventory
Shopping lists. Watches. Directions. Maps. Instructions.
I eat too fast but I remember everything my ventral pathway streams autonomic images
I keep a limbic calendar.
Some say cells are micrographic day-books sensations enfolded in the organelles.
When the girl breathed out her donor organ
bellowed beer-and-burger music.
My fool heart played Babel music.
My fool fool heart fat with old stock and enzyme super-families and wasted miracles-
like the night I swam-surface. like the night I got born.
like the night I was born, with Lilith in Virgo.
Black Moon Lilith says behind closed doors I’m a telepathic lover
Black Moon Lilith says I should like sex degrading but hygienic
I can be quite sensual, but my shame is karmic duty.
Rita Hayworth has strong Lilith in her chart; like Kim Kardashian and Niki Minaj
My chart says I got a fool heart
A fat fool heart for glamorising suffering
and absorbing torments like a sponge while pursuing solitary occupations
research. investigations. archives. inquiries.
It doesn’t take much to drown a fool fool heart
Attractive round hips and full thick thighs a taste for the arts and a submissive side
So many enviable gifts!
Trying to take the lead in love.
Trying to aspire to high ideals in love.
Trying to counter-pose the weight of my fool heart in water
he palmed me an amulet, a mother-pearl gobbetti
hump-backed like the waning gibbous when the sky split brocade rain.
I am very superstitious with my big dark mysterious emotions
with my treadle and my black wool my needles blunt and made of glass
I’ll knit a casket for my fool fool heart and fill it with too much medicine.
I don’t know where I get these brilliant ideas from they come from nowhere.
Fertile imagination. Flexible mind. Allergic to inventory
Shopping lists. Watches. Directions. Maps. Instructions.
I eat too fast but I remember everything my ventral pathway streams autonomic images
I keep a limbic calendar.
Some say cells are micrographic day-books sensations enfolded in the organelles.
When the girl breathed out her donor organ
bellowed beer-and-burger music.
My fool heart played Babel music.
My fool fool heart fat with old stock and enzyme super-families and wasted miracles-
like the night I swam-surface. like the night I got born.
Elinor Cleghorn is a writer, researcher and poet from the UK, working across film, feminism, the history of medicine, and the experience of chronic illness. Her first pamphlet, Lupercalia, was published by Litmus Press (UK) in 2017. Her poetry has also appeared in Spells: 21st Century Occult Poetry (Ignota Books 2018); MAI Feminism and Visual Culture, The Westerley, and is forthcoming in Ache Magazine.
Twitter: elinorcleghorn
Twitter: elinorcleghorn