how brown how heavy how beautiful

the sky is falling
            in flakes           like burnt pastries
I cannot           step away from the campfire breeze
and if I were to ask you for a drag of your cigarette
my parents would not notice a difference
no strange odor to stain my breath
because everyone else’s cars and clothes and homes
                       smell the same
I feel like a
            masochistic
            indie movie
                                  delinquent
            when I suck the air through my nasal cavity 
            in a draw so intense that my chest swells
full blast           vacuuming        dirty death and dust particles.
but I down omega-3 and biotin vitamin capsules with my
                                       green veggie breakfast
             I don’t drink soda
                                     I don’t chew processed cheeseburgers or
                                     supersized chili fries
                         I sleep nine hours most nights
I am wholesome health and purity                     this virtuous clean being
so why now
            why today
                        why do I like to inspire
            that                 
            which makes my lungs grey
perhaps it is because I love this new shade introduced across the entire expansion of my atmosphere
            not blue            not pink           not from any palette of pastels
it’s a chaotic, destructive, almost anomalous color
this hazardous holiday
            swarms me in               darkness, deviance
                                                                                     like a muddy fog
for once you can compare my eyes to the sky
            how brown       how heavy        how beautiful

Mia Valenzuela is a real life Disney Princess/ writer from Santa Ana, southern California. She attends Orange County School of the Arts in the Creative Writing conservatory and performs musical things on a stage sometimes. Her work has been published by Inkblot, Nu Lit House, tenderness, and Vagabond City lit. She likes butter pasta, anything lavender scented, raspberry green tea boba, and wearing 90s butterfly clips in her hair. Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Sagittarius, Taurus Rising. The internet knows her as @miagvalenz.